The best farewell I ever had!

Today it's the last day of my work in Menara KH..
Some of my colleagues treat me ate japanese food ' Watami Japanese Restaurant '..
I order salmom set to eat.. So full..
Won't forget them..
Got Sook Chin-my mami, Sook Ling, Sock Yee, Phooi Sze, Catherine, Angeline, Miss Voon, Miss See..
First time, I had colleague treat me eat..
Plus got another 2 colleague treat me drinks..
Sock Yee - Starbucks, Meo Meo - Chatime..
So full, I had to drink to drinks at the same time! WOW..
My stomach full of waters..! XD

Although I just worked here nearly 5 months..
But I had learn many things I didnt know before..
Thank you! Really thank you.. =)

To my lovely..

Hey my lovely one,

Sometimes you really made me feel that I doesn't important to you..

You share your thing to your besties Sri Garden girl friend more than me..

Just now you text me a message ask me is it hate you?

Seriously, YA! 

Everyone need a canfidante? 

Should I need one? 

I hate myself too, the more I care the more I hurt..

Why my jealousy so strong? 

Strong until like going to kill myself, the feeling is like going having a suffocation..

You're testing my patient all the time, do you know that?

But sorry, you wouldn't know.. 

Cause I didn't tell you.. 

You close with girl more than boy.. 

I'm so jealous.. 

I will think sometimes, if we didn't couple and still keep our relationship as a friend, how would it be? 

Is it won't cause you sad cause of me? 

Meantime, you also can save more money for yourself.

I'm trying to inclusive you, sometimes I will think that I'm not mature enough to be with you.

I just don't wish to become like last time, A said that I control him too much..
Seriously, I don't wish to happen again.
Don't want lose you again like I lose him.
How selfish I am?
I not like weiyu, she have a big heart, a open minded mind..
Sorry, I can't did it like her..
I rather choose not to care about you, than both of us hurt and sad.   :')

suffocation

Cant I have my own decision?

Why cant i just have my own decision?
I knew you guys are worried..
I can handle myself..
Please, dont keep put pressure on me..
I'm so tired..

I'm not a kiddo anymore..
Wanna shift to outside and stay..
Can i? 
But i nowadays rental was so expensive! 
what can i do? anyone can tell me?

I Disappoint You

Dear Mom, 


I'm sorry.. I disappointed you again..
I know I didn't even try to work hard before..
I really don't know wan't how to make myself in love with BM..
My BM is more worst than you think that I'm still okay in BM..
I really sucks with it!
English essay I still know where to start...
But, BM? Gosh, I don't even know how to use their words to start!
Might be you were right..
I'm just a useless people, a piece of shit.. 
Perhaps, I really have to go Singapore to work and earn money for you..

I'm really tired,

I don't meant to disappoint you..

Sorry, I'm just a useless piece of shit..

Really just feel like wanna give up..

Slowly, Deeply..

Slowly..

I really felt that I had let go of you, A..

Thank you for hurt me indeed.. 

Our memories I will keep in one deep place of my heart..

No more hating on you both..

=)

Dear Friend, why suddenly so cool to me?

I really hate myself over care on you..

You treat me as what?

Boring then find me?

When I find you, text you, call to you..

You don't even wanna reply or pick up!

Damn it! 

                   

Deeply..

Well, well... If now everyone ask me, don't wanna find a Boyfriends?
Nah, no~ I don't think I need it yet.. =)
Seriously, I'm enjoying with my single life! =D
Free & Easy.. Yeah, maybe I really need a guy to take care of me..
But, not now..
The world is different, man couldn't be trusted easily! 


Everyone's has their different type of stories behind them..
Don't guess, Don't judge..
Now, everyday.. I keep on telling myself six words..
" Serena, you have to stay strong! '
This is what I keep on repeat and remind myself all the time..
Really have to be thankful that everyday woke up,
that you still alive.. =)

當愛一個人..

當愛一個人，卻無法擁有他時，自己面對著一個選擇：放棄還是繼續。

包括你在內的很多人都說：放棄吧，不要再浪費青春。
但是，自己卻明白，自己真的放不下。

如果能放下，早都已經放下了，根本不會到現在的地步。
所以，當黑夜來臨的時候，我只能孤獨的思念一個人。

我不能無法自拔...

夠了

轉了幾個彎　停了幾個站
天亮了　迷路了　你沒有過問
挽回幾次了　煩心幾遍了
哭過幾次才懂得我剩一個人

不想再愛了　不想捨不得
不想要變成　最後認輸的人
想哭想瘋想忘了
你曾是我愛的那個人
不想再愛了　不想再痛了
就算會失去了天份
我想安穩　我想完整
我想我受的傷夠了

思念一個人　也寂寞的人
擁有的　失去了　我害怕什麼
獨自一個人　獨自面對著
揮不散你的體溫　掙脫又如何

不想再愛了　不想捨不得
不想要變成　最後認輸的人
想哭想瘋想忘了
你曾是我愛的那個人
不想再愛了　不想再痛了
就算會失去了天份
我想安穩　我想完整
我想我受的傷夠了

誠實的面對我自己　想擺脫記憶
在破碎之後能永遠忘記你

不想再愛了　不想捨不得
不想要變成　最後認輸的人
想哭想瘋想忘了
你曾是我愛的那個人
不想再愛了　不想再痛了
就算會失去了天份
我夠了想安穩　我想完整

不想再愛了　不想捨不得
不想要變成　最後認輸的人
想哭想瘋想忘了
你曾是我愛的那個人 

 

What happen?

Don't know why I can felt that my body getting weaker & weaker..
While I walk my leg like no strength...
Suddenly fell down.. Sometimes while I walking my vertebal its so pain..
These few weeks getting worst..
I'm so worring myself..
I don't wanna be my family burden..
Please tell me I 'll be fine..
Will someone care about me?

Dear Red, 

Today when you ask me join you go for Lang Tengah, 

I really so excited! I know you're missing her.. 

You more excited than me that can see her.. Right?

But when I asked you why suddenly want go Lang Tengah,

and your reason say that Yian want go..

Meaning that she going too..

I dont want.. I just wanna go with you, do you know?

Meantime, I rejected you.. 

Sorry, I'm trying so hard to let go you in my heart.. 

Kept telling myself stop falling for you already..

I knew without me you still will very happy and enjoy your day.. =)

That time went out with you, You told me that 1 day you had 7 girls texted you at the same time..

Wow.. You shocked me! Seriously, I confirm that many girls are in love with you..

But, I also glad that you told me about your stuff..

But my heart were so pain.. Who can I speak to?

Really dont know how to confess my feelings to you..

Dear A, 

between me and you those pictures I had totally deleted..

I think I really let go of you..

When I saw your pictures took with your gf..

Those of your happiness smile had come out.. 

Really happy that you living happily..

Before I delete those pictures that I took with you,

really dont even have 1 pic that you're smile from your heart..

Perhaps, be with me really unhappy..

I can't give you happiness..

Eventually, you found your real happiness..

Wish you both cherish each other!  =)

A quote for myself. =)

Just because we can't be together, Doesn't mean I won't love you..

Oh, please...

Oh, please.. Don't always put the blame on me..
I'm your daughther, not your house maid!
Don't ask me do all the stuff..
Brother also staying in this house, don't kept ask me do all the housework!
I'm enough with it!
GOD DAMN IT!

Please la, MANTENG LAM & ADRIAN LEE!
You both were PISSING ME OFF!
Wanna show your conjugal love, please go far away!
No need go where also check in blah blah blah..
When you both make love time why don't you check in on the FB
and take both of your naked pictures too!? FUCK OFF!

Today went for an interview at Pavilion..

Seriously, I really not willing to work in Malaysia..

Don't wanna argue with you all everyday.. 

Really hate it!

Please.. Release me..

Time..

時間，讓深的東西越來越深，讓淺的東西越來越淺。

看淡一點，傷就會少一點，時間過了，愛情淡了，也就散了。

別等不該等的人，別傷不該傷的心。


我們真的要過了很久很久，才能夠明白


自己真正懷念的，到底是怎樣的人，怎樣的事。

Letting go~

To let go isn't to forget, not to think about, or ignore.

It doesn't leave feelings of anger, jealousy, or regret.

Letting go isn't about winning or losing.

It's not about pride and it's not about how you appear, and it's not obsessing or dwelling on the past.

Letting go isn't blocking memories or thinking sad thoughts, and it doesn't leave emptiness, hurt, or sadness.

It's not about giving in or giving up.

Letting go isn't about loss and it's not about defeat.

To let go is to cherish the memories, but to overcome and move on.

It is having an open mind and confidence in the future.

Letting go is learning and experiencing and growing.

To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry, and made you grow.

It's about all that you have, all that you had, and all that you will

soon gain.

Letting go is having the courage to accept change, and the strength to keep moving.

LETTING GO IS GROWING UP.

It is realizing that the heart can sometimes be the most potent remedy.

To let go is to open a door, and to clear a path and

… SET YOURSELF FREE.

【人生須放下的八樣東西】

1）放下壓力：累與不累，取決於心態。
2）放下煩惱：快樂其實很簡單。
3）放下自卑：把自卑從你的字典裡刪去。
4）放下懶惰：奮鬥改變命運。
5）放下消極：絕望向左，希望向右。
6）放下抱怨：與其抱怨，不如努力。
7）放下猶豫：立即行動，成功無限。
8）放下狹隘：心寬，天地就寬。

學着不要那麼在乎..

Can saw that now you had love the girl deeply..
Before you dont wan accept her request..
Now you accept her back..
Wish you both happy.. =)


Meantime,
Dear Red.. Now I'm learning not to fall for you so much..
After the passage of time, you are not worth for me to love..
Cause you still so in love with her, and no matter what you will do anything for her..
How about me? I knew you just treat me as friend..
Is when you felt lonely or unhappy or want tell me about her stuff only you will find me that kind of friend..


When I saw Tesy treat you like a BF, and when she home wanna get out from the car,
you said 'Dont have a kiss for me?' You just joke with her, but she really gave it to you..
then she really kissed it..
At the moment, I felt so heartache! She can be like couple with you even you both just are friend..
Then I said you both really so crazy..
After that, you said you can be like her too..


Sorry my dear Red.. I really cant be like her..
I'm selfish.. If  I couple with a guy, I want him be my only one..
And I'm not so open like her.. I just can say that I'm old-fashioned..


I really want leave malaysia, leave far away from you..


My blog post going to full of your stories already..

This is what I wanted to do all the time!

Have to save up much money dy.. 

Oh, My heart..

Once again, I can heard my heart a broken sound again..

A piece, a piece tear out..

我的心, 又再一次的楸了一下..

I just saw the picture that you and the bitch go to Pulau Ketam..

The conjugal love face.. My tearsdrop again..

I thought that I had let go.. 以為我能瀟灑的忘了... 

But when I saw her pictures.. I cant made it! 

Who can mke me forget about you? 

I'm so jealous of you both.. You haven do this to me before.. 

Really so hope now got a guy treat me as his only one,

make me happy, be by my side,

and can make me forget about you..

Dear blogger..

Dear blogger,

I had left you a long time again..
Sometimes had many heart feeling wanna to blog it..
But when I log in, just stop there dont know what to blog..

Dear Red,

I knew I had fall for you..
My dear joey asked me to confess to you..
I really dont dare.. Plus I knew that you wont give a chance to us..
Cause your heart already full of her.. =)
Sometimes fall in love with a person doesn't meant really have to be with them..
Just like how your feeling to her..
Eventually, I didnt confess to him.. Cause I think this is the best way to keep us going..
Now its not the time for me to have a relationship.. I doesn't fit it..

Sorry dear, had made you disappointed that I dont have the guts to confess to him..

I just watched 'You Are The Apple Of My Eye' today..

Really a nice movie, talking about love, high school life & ambiguous relation..
But at the end of the story.. Isn't the story I expected..
The leading actor at last didnt be with leading actress.. She had married another guy..
But, the leading actor still in love with her..
The quote I most remembered,
'原來, 當你真的非常非常喜歡一個女孩, 當他有人疼, 有人愛，
你會真心真意的祝福她, 永遠幸福快樂'

Dear Red, you just like the leading actor.. Totally alike..
No matter how, you just wanna see she happy..
You can do anything for her..
Thats why I choose not to confess to you..
This might be the best way.. =)

I think you already felt that I like you..
Just you choose not to know and be a best friends, good brothers with me..
I knew in your heart I'm just a bro to you..
Who call me so boyish..
Sometimes, I will thought.. Should i be happy for it or not?

Everytimes heard you told me that you miss her so much, my heart just pain a little while..
Then I told myself, should let go.. Dont heartache..
Then I will sang this song again.. ='(
‘好朋友只是朋友,
还是朋友 不能够占有,
好朋友疯狂以后,
就一个人走 无所求..

好朋友只是朋友,
只能保留 一点点温柔,
我知道什么时候回头,
不打扰你的自由..'

After I had broke up with A..
I only knew that I doesn't suit for in a relationship..
After all, can't blame it all to A..
I have to thank you him for teaching me not to fall for a person so easily &
not make the guy so important on my own.. =)

一個人單身久了，就不想去戀愛，會感覺朋友越來越重要；
一個人單身久了，就不想逛街，會越來越喜歡在家聽歌；
一個人單身久了，就變得成熟起來，會比以前更愛父母；
一個人單身久了，會想獨自去很多很遠的地方旅遊； 
一個人單身久了，會不經意的悄悄流淚，但在眾人面前裝作什麼都無所謂。

漫漫長路由我獨自一個人走..

  

Memories..

Now what should I call you? 
I don't want to call your full name, so I just call you "A".

Dear A,

Do you know, just now I went to my relative house at Klang..
This place had too many memories to me..
And also the memories that I don't wanna thought back..
When cross the street, restaurant, it makes me thought back about you automatically..


3years plus, how can I forget easily? 
You gave too much memories to me, bad & good..
All I'd remembered.. 
Klang, the place that I doesn't want to thought back..
But, I went there.. 


You can forget me easily, 
cause you have a GF by your side..
And her virginity gave to you.. 
You fell to her more..
Probably will be forever too.. 


Do you know, if today its I'm alone around Klang, 
I think I really have a impulse want to find you..
But I kept on told myself again, ARE YOU STUPID?!
Now A had a gf by his side already, now he's enjoying his life..
He already forget about you, he is not yours anymore! 


A, I really wanna forget that I met you befoere..
A, I really wanna forget that how we knew each other before..
A, I really wanna forget that I loved you before..


Why it's so unforgettable? WHY?
Felt so heartache! 
You didn't even feel guilty before!

如果有的選擇, 我寧願選擇忘記你,

也不要記得我曾經愛過你...

我，徘徊在记忆的边缘，心是如此的痛。时间像轴承一样转动着，带动着记忆的齿轮，

慢慢的磨灭着感情这机器。我们的爱在指间溶成一滴倾城容颜，凝聚成唯一不灭的记忆。许


愿树下，你温暖的笑意深情的凝眸便是我的整个世界，满树芬芳妖娆的温柔在我心间蔓延开


来。

我知道, 

忘記一個人不容易,

但是要忘記你,

更難..

Hees, meaningful..

I'm not single. I'm in a long standing relationship with fun and freedom.


When someone walks out on you, & they don't want you around any more, it's because there's something wrong with them, not you.


Don't cry over the past, its gone. Don't stress about the future, it hasn't arrived. Live in the present and make it beautiful.


Don't try to understand everything, because sometimes it's not meant to be understood, but rather to be accepted.


Sometimes, being too nice is dangerous. You have to show your mean side once in a while to avoid getting hurt.


Everyone is going to change, through that change, you find out who your true friends are & who's gonna turn and run away.


It's like I'm finally awake, & you're just a beautiful mistake <3

It's a new year!

For chinese tradition, today it's a last day of 2011.
50% of peoples go for a trip with family, 50% of peoples back to hometown have reunion dinner..
But me? Stay house, boring.. And also stay in Kl..


Felt so bored.. Trying to find something to do..
The day before yesterday just watch All Well End Well's 
this movie with my sister! LOL!
So damn funny! It's really nice! =D
If who haven watch, should take time to watch it! Hees..

Well, well, well.. 
Seriously exhausted today.. Clean the house all that... 
Just feel like wanna go for a body massage! =( 


Valentine's day coming soon....
Lonely this year...
I kept on telling myself, no big deal.. 
Valentine's day only, as long as I still alive.. 
Am I right? 


Not to envy at other peoples who have valentine..
Soon, I will get mine too.. Hees.. 

Hey boy, I missed you!

When can I meet you again? 

Even can't speak with you I just wanna see your face..  =(

Chinese new year

like getting more bored and bored..

How come?

現在才發現,

原來我並不是那麼重要,

可以拿替身來形容嗎?

我永遠是個過來客...


幾時才能找到真正愛護我, 會保護我,
把我放在他/她心裡第一位的人呢?

Just some quote that I love it

      Don't worry, he'll miss you. He screwed up and you did absolutely nothing wrong. He failed. He's not smart enough. If he was smart, he would have realized what he was saying goodbye to. But he didn't, and now he's gone. Don't call him telling him you miss him. You don't miss him, you miss what you used to be. Right now you're waiting for someone to prove to you, that you don't need him. I promise that person is right around the corner, but you have to let go of him and his bullshit first. He'll be back one day, it will be him calling you saying he misses you every night. He'll have his friends ask you if you still care about him. It will be your turn to just say, fuck you, you had me and you messed it all up. For now, find every reason to be happy without him because you deserve it.

悲伤

有的时候
感觉到难过并不是因为做了什么，
而是发现自己什么都做不了；

有的时候
手足无措并不是因为没有选择，
而是发现可以选择的太多；

有的时候
放声大笑并不是因为开心至极，
而是发现哭不出来。

有的时候
上线并不是不想说话，
而是发现无人可以倾诉 ♥

一个人不等於寂寞，害怕孤独才会寂寞...

我只是个配角, 我无法做到女主角..

我永远都是别人的配角..

过去的不再回来, 回来的不再完美..

说真的, 要学会没有另一半的陪伴..

真的好难..

寂寞时, 能做些什么?

Do you believe in this world have Mr.Right?

I miss the guy!

Most of the morning I can saw him inside the coach.. =)

Fall in love with the first sight.. HAHA!

Anyway, I'm joking..

Eventhough, I fall for him, might be the guy already

have gf.. Cause he so handsome..

Plus my dear Joey suggest me go ask the guy for phone number!

Gosh! I don't have the guts to ask for it!

If I ask already, the guy answer 'Sorry, I already have gf.' 

That time I don't know what to respond, it's so 

embarrassing! =(

Handsome, oh, handsome..

Every morning can you don't walk so fast? 

Like you can feel it that I'm following behind you.. 

I just want to see your figure viewed from behind..

我也会想被人呵护的感觉.. =(

一个人久了, 真的很害怕寂寞..

有时候, 真的很无奈.

有没有人告诉过你、你笑起来很美 =)

It's a new year!

Well, have to thanks to my Dear Joey..

She brought me came back to my blog again..

And before my blog it's totally death!

Now will be alive again.. =D

Read back the post that I wrote,

only realized that I mention about him so much!

But all it's gone, that's the fact & have to accept it..

Before, when I be with him, I really don't know how to appreciate the things I have..

The first, it's Friendship..

爱情往往都会令人忘了自我..

I'm happy that my dear Joey told me that I'm what kind of person before..

Hope now realize dy and change it, it's not too late.. =)

Anyway, CNY it's coming soon..

I believe that all my friends have many places to go, to enjoy their holiday..

But how about me? So lonely this year..

Stay in KL, aiks.. I want go for travel madly!

Why those guy I love also loving other girl?

What is happiness? No one will get an real answer, and forever won't have a answer.. Right?

Do you know got a girl had fall for you?

Have to promise myself not do date you out for movie anymore..

I'm envy!

Why always you outing with her can be just both of you?

But when I date you, you sure bring her along?

难道, 好朋友就只能做朋友?

就不能进一步的关系吗?

Is enough for today..

Ciao! =)